How heavy is your hat?
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Are you trying to be too many things for too many people at once or are you able to see out from under your hat? It is often difficult to keep everything going smoothly all at the same time when everybody sees us with a different hat on. Trying to be the perfect mother/father, employee/employer, family member/friend and all the other labels we carry at the same time makes a hat very heavy. So how do we clear our space so that our hats are not so heavy in future? We learn to prioritize, delegate and we learn when to say "no" and when to say "yes". We can not be "Yes We Can!" people all the time.. that way we are not allowing ourselves to make the most of the things we enjoy and are good at. To lift your hat a little, start noticing the little things under your nose that catch your interest, when life is exciting, and as our moods brighten the hat will get lighter. Now that you have taken care of those matters that are right in front of you you can slowly begin to raise your eyes and notice the next level of importance, all the time looking out wards, do not succumb to the poor me - how will I ever cope syndrome. When your load is extra heavy you will begin to notice there are people around you who would love to help you - but they are waiting for you to give them the go ahead. To reach out and say - "Would you like to give me a hand here.." Never order some one to help you - you are robbing them of the feel good factor of being able to offer the help. You know how special you feel when some one turns to you for your imput, well pass that on to others and let them help lift your hat a little more.. When you help others they are more likely to want to help you in return, so reach out and offer that help, make time to find out about your friends and family. Is there some way you might help them that you will be helping yourself as well? A burden shared is a burden halved, maybe you could offer to do something in exchange for help with something else. We all have our own fortes and your forte might be the other person's night mare, so lighten their load and yours will begin to lift as well... Here is to learning to lift our hats a little each day, and by being able to see what is going on around us, making the world a happier place for all.. |
Are your relationships robbing you of happiness?
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The relationships we have in our lives have a huge impact on whether we're happy or sad, feel well-balanced or insecure, accepted or out on a limb, happy and content with ourselves or out of place. In life we're drawn to people, places and things that we feel are right for us, they may have been when we first came across them, some continue to fill us with joy and happiness but sadly some things can change and we need to let go of them in order to allow ourselves to grow. Sometimes we become addicted to the memories of past happiness and fear that in letting go of something, that is now causing us harm, we may never be able to make those happy memories again. Yes you're right, letting go does mean that you won't be able to make those memories again with those people, but times have changed and you can never remake memories, you can only make new ones. And then there are times when we cling to a dream that can no longer be, maybe it's a dream that you had many years ago, a longing to do something really special that will affect the rest of your life and yet it never came to be. There comes a time, when you need to cut the cord, when you realise that what you're hoping for can never be, these are the times when we need to dream new dreams, and choose a different path and maybe go a different way. Procrastination is the thief of all time, if someone means something to you, let them know today, do not wait until tomorrow. Do not hang your happiness on a hanger in hopes that one day you will take it down and wear it, you may have out grown it. Do not wait for another person to initiate your happiness, you owe it to yourself to create your own happiness. If you find that the relationships you have today are not good you, yet you are holding on to them from a sense of responsibility, stop and ask yourself how the other person is feeling. Would you both be happier going your own ways, opening doors to new experiences, instead of blaming each other for the situation you're in today, clouding your lives with resentment and bitterness over what you have both given up to be together. If the door to forgiveness and love has been locked there is no point in throwing yourself away in hopes that one day you might find the key. People change, places change, and there are times when we too need to change. It is daunting to start out on your own, to make new friends, to change your job, to start from scratch. You need to ask yourself if the cost of staying in relationships that have turned sour is worth the price or whether it is worth the risk stepping out into the unknown, in hopes that you can be happier. Never let go of one you love if there is still hope, but if all hope has gone, do not throw yourself away on those that do not appreciate you. Your happiness is in your own hands, only you can decide what is best for you, friends can give you advice but the choice has to come from your heart. Value yourself enough to know when to keep holding on and when to let go, never allow yourself to be treated like a doormat, and never force yourself on others who have made it clear that they have moved on. Allow yourself the freedom to be happy, by letting go of toxic relationships you are opening the door to new possibilities. Holding on to relationships that have gone wrong, is like stabbing yourself in the heart and hoping the other person will feel your pain. Let go and be happy. |
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